Der Nerdery

For more than a century people around the world have been enjoying the cool refreshing taste of Coca-Cola, and helping put their dentists’ kids through college while they did it. Sure, most carbonated soft drinks such as Coca-Cola contain lots of sugar and are bad for your teeth, but not all of them have the same name brand recognition of Coke which is turning 125 years old this year.

Coca-Cola and its unique red and white label is one of the most recognizable brands in the world. The uniquely Coke cans show up in stores around the world. It is now possible to buy a Coca-Cola in just about every single country in the world. Sure, the label may be written in a language other than English, but the product inside tastes exactly the same because the formula does not change from place to place. What makes a Coke a Coke in the United States is the same thing that makes a Coke popular in Africa, South America, Europe, Asia and all points in between.

In the early 1980s Coca-Cola experimented with the recipe, causing a near public panic. They decided to update the recipe for what they considered to be the evolving palates of the general consumer. So, the introduced New Coke and began clearing the old-style product from store shelves. People began hoarding their supply of the traditional product, fighting over it, doing whatever was necessary in some cases to hold on to every drop of the original product they could find.

Sure, some folks reportedly liked the flavor of New Coke better, but these folks were few and far between. For the most part people expressed their desire to do anything to avoid drinking the new product. Coke consumers started turning away from the brand, feeling betrayed by the decision to arbitrarily replace their beloved product with another simply because it seemed like a good marketing idea.

It was actually the idea of Coca-Cola CEO Roberto Goizueta who took the reins of the company in 1980. By 1985 he had begun replacing the original formula of Coca-Cola, and forcing the New formula on the unsuspecting public. There was immediate and heartfelt backlash. In fact, the opposition to the New Coke formula was so strong it is to this day considered one of the greatest marketing fiascoes ever committed by a major brand.

Pepsi began running advertisements proclaiming it had won the cola war! And saw its highest month over month sales increase ever omore than 14 percent. Sales of New Coke flattened out in the summer months when sales normally surged, and just three short months after the introduction of the New formula, Coke Classic was re-released to a public that was eager to buy it. In fact, the re-introduction of Coca-Cola Classic outsold both New Coke and Pepsi by a wide margin.

It has been more than a century since the first Coke splashed into a glass at soda fountains in the southern United States, but consumers are seemingly not bored with the product. In fact, Coca-Cola sales have remained strong through the recent Recession and they still command a majority of the soft drink market, though they now offer a wide range of soft drink products.

With the New Coke fiasco behind them, Coca-Cola has made strides to re-connect with consumers and seemingly put all thoughts of changing the traditional formula out of their heads for ever. Or, at least for now.

Sheeja Watson is a writer for a Virtual Assistant company based out of Atlanta. She’s been working with Virtual Assistants for the past 5 years and is considered an industry specialist. To speak with Sheeja or to find out more, visit her website.

Nerd Rating: 2/10

Yuck.  Slammin’ Citrus Mad-Croc Energy Gum tastes a lot like a medicine I used to take… at least at first.  The box says 32.1 milligrams of caffeine, and after about 25 minutes, it tastes horrible.  The warning says it is not recamended for young children, pregnant women, or caffeine-sensitive people.  After about 30 minutes, I still haven’t got any energy from it.

Even though I haven’t had any of the other flavors, this one is very bad-tasting. Maybe it’s because it’s sugar free or maybe not. All I know is that the only ones who would like it is people who like the taste of cardboard. At least after 45 minutes it has almost no flavor.  From two people I have had try this gum, one says it does give him very little energy because he believes it would give him energy, but he does agree about the taste.  The second one says it definitely has an ” interesting” flavor but after awhile it tasted like paper and doesn’t give him too much energy as well.

Overall, I would never recommend this for ANYONE looking for quick energy. Get yourself an energy shot before your weekly DnD night and relish in the fact that you don’t have to chew on cruddy gum for a half hour.

Retard Strength Energy Drink

Nerd Rating: 11/10
(10 for being freaking awesome. +1 extra credit for originality and going where no one has dared to go before.)

What!? Really?!? Is Retard Strength actually a real energy drink?

Yes, you read that right and yes, retard strength is a real energy drink. How do I know? Because I am one of the few remaining people in the world who actually owns a can of this rare gem of a energy drink. We at Der Nerdery have seen and tried tons and tons of energy drinks, all of which have their own niche,  but what about the special people? Are they not “special” enough to have their own energy drink? Of course they are! In fact, the can actually claims that retard strength is the world’s only “special” energy drink.

I first discovered retard strength when I was on a mission to find out how to go about making my own energy drink dedicated to nerds. I will go into more detail on my nerd energy drink idea in a later post. Anyways, while doing energy drink research I stumbled upon TardHard.com. (The website no longer exists) I was shocked with mixed feelings about what I had found. The one thing that is embedded in my head from this website is the “special” sounds the buttons made when you rolled over them. Each button had its own noise associated with it. Each sound was obviously made by special guys voice. I know that I am probably going to hell for this but those roll over button sounds had me ROFL like never before.

While continuing my energy drink research I found several blank label energy drink companies that would actually sell you a pre-formulated energy drink. You just send them the label artwork and they will create the bar code and print your custom labels on the can. One of these companies in particular had free samples of their energy drink. You just pay for the shipping. So I called up the company and spoke to the owner about my nerd energy drink idea. He then told me about some of his other strange projects that he had helped develop. To my surprise one of these drinks he produced was Retard Strength, which I had found merely hours before. While speaking to the energy drink guy he explained that the energy drink was actually funded by the parents of the special guy on the can. Apparently the energy drink was the brain child of the special guy himself and it turns out that he has a sense of humor about his condition.

So I paid the shipping costs to the blank label energy drink business owner to ship the free energy drink samples to my home. When I received the box of samples, to my surprise it actually contained a single Retard Strength energy drink. This was the only drink from the box that I kept and still own. All of the other drinks had different examples of labels but they were all the same taste and formula.

Taste:
When I spoke to the energy drink creator he told me that the drink tastes almost like a Red Bull only “cleaner” tasting. Once I tasted it, I totally agree with his statement. So with that description being true Retard Strength tastes more closely to a Rock Star than a Red Bull.

The last time I checked the Retard Strength Website it said coming soon. But I havent seen any changes for a very long time.

Our rating: 9/10

CRUNK tasted like liquid sweet tarts, which was amazing. It has a good balance of sweet and tangy especially for an energy drink. It’s a smooth alternative to the caffeine you’d normally turn to while on a 40-man raid. Also, it’s no more expensive than other energy drinks, usually priced around three bucks.

Taste:
This is so far the only flavor of CRUNK I’ve tried, but, out of the energy drinks I have had, it’s right up there with my favorite (Monster). As I mentioned, they did a very good job on the balance of sweet and tart, and, unlike many energy drinks, it doesn’t have that bite to it when you take your first few drinks. It has a very continuous flavor. Even after you haven’t taken a drink for awhile, the full flavor lingers in your mouth. So if you’re a little busy with a fire-breathing dragon and you can’t take another drink… It’s okay; you can still taste it.

Energy:
I would say that this drink has a good amount of energy boost. It’s enough to help you get stuff done, but not so much that you’re having problems hitting the right keys when trying to communicate with your guild members. This would also work well for those early morning Star Trek conventions. The best part of CRUNK: the energy is not incredibly overwhelming. This would, of course, vary depending on how you handle certain amounts caffeine.

Price:
Purchased a 16 ounce can at a Conoco gas station for $2.69. This has been spotted at a variety of stores and is most likely to be found at your closest energy drink supplier.

Our Rating: 9/10

Bawls is well known around geek kind. Usually consumed during their LAN parties. It is hard to miss since the bottle looks so strange being covered in little balls and not to mention being so blue.

Taste:

I have heard people describe the flavor as creme soda and for the most part I would have to agree. In my opinion it does have a hint of creme soda but the flavor is much lighter like a sprite or sierra mist.  It drinks just like a italian soda and it doesn’t taste anything like a energy drink.

Energy:

You wouldn’t know it by the taste but this baby is loaded with caffeine and keeps the most sleep deprived geeks going long past their bedtime.

During many many nights of all-nighters I would often times find myself at a convenience store (usually seven eleven) staring into the cold glass case of beverages trying to make a very important decision. What energy drink am I in the mood for? Many of the energy drinks use similar flavors and formulas so quite a few taste the same. Two of the most popular energy drinks that taste almost identical are Red Bull and Rockstar.

These two drinks look  different enough but can you taste the difference if you don’t have the label to look at? When it comes down to it which one is the best overall? In order to settle this I set out to buy one Rockstar and one Red Bull from my local Seven Eleven.

The first thing I noticed when purchasing the energy drinks is that on a per can basis Red Bull is much more expensive than all other energy drinks. This was true almost everywhere we went. This is probably because they are the original energy drink and they set the price for everyone else to beat. Once I got home I took two plastic cups and labeled one “A” and the other “B”  then secretly poured each energy drink into each’s own mystery glass. The test participant (My brother) was completely unaware which glass contained which drink. During the test the participant was asked questions about the taste, smell and color. At the end of the test the participant was allowed to guess which drink was which and asked which he liked better overall.

Both cups were very similar overall with very slight differences.

Mystery Cup A:

Color: “Looks like beer or apple juice. Amber in color”

Smell: “The smell is a little more fragrant than cup B. It smells more pleasant like tart fruit.”

Taste: “Tastes more like vitamins than cup B. It is a little more tart and tangy than the other. It has bite to it.”

Mystery Cup B:

Color: “Looks like pee. Much more yellow than cup A’s amber color. This cup also has noticeably more bubbles.”

Smell: “The scent is similar to cup A but less fragrant.”

Taste: “Very smooth as you drink it with a clean finish. The aftertaste is similar to the aftertaste you get from red licorice”

Which cup tasted better to you?

Participants Answer: Cup B

What cup is what drink?

Participants Answer: Cup A is the Rockstar & Cup B is the Red Bull

Correct Answer: Cup B is the Rockstar & Cup A is the Red Bull

Overall I agreed with my test subject on all of the answers he gave. I tasted the beverages along side him to understand what he was saying to the fullest. Not only is Rockstar bigger than the Red Bull but it is even cheaper per can. When it came down to it the taste of the Rockstar really kicked Red Bull in the can.

Thank you for reading my comparison. Please comment and let me know which you think is better and why.