Der Nerdery

This is a hypothetical battle between similar hero’s from rival comic book universes, Marvel and DC. I am putting Plastic Man and Mr. Fantastic head to head, to see who would be the theoretical winner in several different situations and scenarios. Who do you think would win in a one on one battle to the death? Who is more powerful? Which character do you like better? After the post please leave a comment with your own theory’s and scenarios. For the purposes of this story we will ignore that they are from different comic book companies.

First lets look over each characters overall abilities and powers.

Mr. Fantastic (Dr. Reed Richards):

Background:
Dr. Reed Richards (aka Mr. Fantastic) has mastered the sciences of electrical, mechanical and aerospace engineering, human and alien biology, chemistry and all levels of physics. He has invented time travel and even warped through dimensions. He is the leader of the super hero team known as The Fantastic Four. He once told Spider-Man that he considers his stretching powers to be expendable compared to his intellect.

Super Powers:
Mr. Fantastic was given his abilities while on a space expedition by being exposed to nearly lethal amounts of cosmic radiation. The radiation damaged the ship and returned home. Shortly after he found that he had the powers of elasticity. He could reform and stretch any part of his body at will. In one severe case he was able to increase his body size and mass, similar to the same size and strength of his team mate known as  ”Thing.” Changing into non human forms takes Mr. Fantastic much concentration.

Plastic Man (Patrick “Eel” O’Brian):

Background:
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian (aka Plastic Man) grew up as a orphan on the streets living in a world of crime. As an adult he made a living by working in a burglary ring as a safe cracker.

Super Powers:
During a job gone wrong, Eel O’Brian was shot and was splashed with some mysterious acid. Being abandoned by his gang he passes out in the streets from disorientation from the acid infecting his bullet wound. He later finds himself  in a monastery under the care of a monk. During his stay at the monastery he saw the error of his past criminal behavior and reformed against his old ways. Shortly after, he found that the acid had fused with his blood and gave his body all of the properties of rubber, allowing him to stretch, bounce, and mold himself into any shape, size and even change his mass. There is no known limit to Plastic Man’s shape changing abilities except he can not change color. His powers have even made him stop aging. Batman once said that Plastic Man could most likely survive the blast from a nuclear attack.

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic: Battle to the Death

Scenario 1 – Plastic Man turns back to his criminal ways
If Plastic Man were to lose his only son, Offspring, in a crime fighting accident. He begins to lose his mind and blames and despises the general public for being weak, selfish and always needing to be rescued. Thus, indirectly putting his family in constant danger. In his psychopathic rage he once again turns against the law and goes on an unforgivable psychopathic Godzilla like killing rampage through the streets of Gotham. Simultaneously… in another dimension, Mr. Fantastic just happened to make a scientific breakthrough and travels through dimensions landing himself in Gotham city in the shadows of the massive Plastic Man engaging in the destruction of Gotham city. Knowing that Plastic Man is indestructible by any known means (According to Wikipedia), would it still be possible for Mr. Fantastic to bring justice to this maniacal Plastic Man?

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic – Scenario 1 Hypothesis
Since Plastic Man is such a giant size, it will be impossible for Mr. Fantastic to defeat the plastic super foe with his super powers alone. Luckily for Mr. Fantastic his super powers are expendable compared to his intellect and is considered one of the most intelligent superhero’s ever created by any comic book company. Even though Wikipedia states that Plastic Man does not have any weaknesses and that he is completely invulnerable, Mr. Fantastic would certainly know that Wikipedia is not considered an accurate source of information He would also try to further his research by studying as much about his foe and this unfamiliar city. Surely, during his research he would eventually watch several episodes of “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” and realize that Kite Man had already invented a death ray which would destroy anything in its path, which he tested effectively on a sample of Plastic Man’s body. Using his superior intellect Mr. Fantastic would certainly recreate a similar death ray and end Plastic Man’s existance once and for all.

Scenario 2 – Mr. Fantastic receives brain damage and is convinced to join the forces of evil
One day while Mr. Fantastic was experimenting on cosmic radiation, trying to gain a deeper understanding of his power’s origins. When suddenly an accidental explosion sends Mr. Fantastic traveling through dimensions and lands him in Gotham city. Due to the combined effects of the explosion and cosmic radiation, Mr. Fantastic is completely disoriented and can’t remember anything about his past, where he came from or the origins of his powers. Spotting Mr. Fantastic and noticing the similarities to Plastic Man’s super powers, the local villains quickly convince the disoriented super hero that he is indeed one of the villains. With Mr. Fantastic now on their side the villains plan a big heist. During the heist Mr. Fantastic loses control of the situation and unforgivably kills several hostages. Plastic Man arrives on the scene and a epic battle of elasticity begins. Without his superior knowledge and intellect does Mr. Fantastic have a chance to win this battle to the death with Plastic Man?

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic – Scenario 2 Hypothesis
Since Mr. Fantastic’s super powers only allow him to stretch and reform his mass like elastic, he isn’t by any means invulnerable like Plastic Man is with his powers. Plastic Man truly has no limit to haw large he can get or how far he can stretch or what he can turn into. If he gets blown up into a million pieces he will easily reform into a single piece again. Without his intelligence Mr. Fantastic has no hope of ever defeating Plastic Man.  All that Plastic Man would need to do is slingshot with his arms from the doorway towards Mr. Fantastic and the moment before they collide…Plastic Man turns into a gigantic axe, effectively ending the life of Mr. Fantastic by decapitating his outstretched head.

Video’s and Pictures with Plastic Man and Mr. Fantastic:

Last weekend, I was bored. Bored of Halo: Reach, bored of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. I was even bored of the internet. I started browsing instant watch movies on Netflix, when I saw a jewel long lost from my childhood:

Toxic Crusaders: The Movie.

Well, actually, no. Ignore what the picture shows. And it’s not really a movie. Toxic Crusaders was a cartoon released in the mid-90s. It is a spinoff of a cult “classic” series called Toxic Avenger. If you have never heard of these films, you make me dissapoint. Actually, I am jealous of you. The studio that made Toxic Avenger, Troma Inc.,  is the king of dog shit movies. Yes yes, I am glad there is at least one guerrilla movie studio who doesn’t follow the traditions or regulations of the film industry. Believe me: it shows. Excessive violence, nudity, and enough cheese to drown Wisconsin. I really have no problem with Toxic Avenger or its many…interesting…. sequels. It’s supposed to be corny. However, every Troma film seems to want to live up to Toxic Avenger, making most (if not all) their movies in the category of most 2d fighters that came after Street Fighter, commonly known as Me-Toos.

So I digressed. Toxic Crusaders is a PG spin-off of said movie series. How much of a spin-off? Well, like Me-Toos, Toxic Crusaders tried to capitalize on the kick of other series of 1991 concerning the environment and super mutants. Maybe you heard of the other shows like Captain Planet and Zen: Intergalactic Ninja? Or maybe their biggest inspiration: Teenage Mutant Something Somethings.  Actaully Zen: Interg’l Ninja was a video game and a comic book. Maybe MC Kids on the Sega Genesis? No? Was I the only one?!

Anyway, this uber nerd named Melvin Junko who gets dipped in toxic waste and becomes Toxie: a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength. He then confronts this alien pollutant villain named Dr. Killemoff. Along the way, Toxie enlists of other hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength Major Disaster, Nozone, Junkyard, and Headbanger. The show had 13 episodes, three or so of which have been pasted together as a movie on Netflix, and never really found a spot on Fox or syndication.

This is where the nerding happens. I remember this cartoon. To be honest, this cartoon affected a lot of my character design then and even now. Yes, it’s a dumbed down version of a terrible movie BUT the designs were amazing for a prepubescent kid like me. Even better: Playmates, the designers for those Adolescent Abomination Anthropomorphic Amphibians (I was afraid I wasn’t going to keep that one rolling) made the toys. I even recall wanting these toys, as a sort of poor-man’s Turtles action figures.

As I watched the “movie,” I realized just how marketed this cartoon was to the toys. Seeing vehicles, I thought: yep, those became toys. I saw the disposable henchmen and thought yep, those are action figures. If you really go back and watch any cartoons of this formula (most super hero action cartoons, honestly) you will see what they wanted as toys and what they were pushing was revenue from toys, along with cereals and other merchandise. Hell’s Bells: they even had video games from Bandai (makers of notoriously games of obscure and random franchises) and  the Me-Too Sega Genesis.

I actually rented this game from a Hastings. It was… well… I have played better. A lot better. It wasn’t quite TMNT: The Arcade game, nor was it Final Fight or Streets of Rage or even Treasure Troll’s Treasure Island or Pretty Princess Dress-Me-Up. Jerky controls, terrible hit detection, no bump mapping or browning or bloom. Dog. Shit. Tacos. The music was actually okay from what I remember the music was dog shit tacos as well I am torn on this subject after going to Youtube.

Collectively, this series tried really hard to be a poor man’s TMNT. Mutants, dumb villains, and merchandise. Watching it now, I was able to see the undertones and what they were peddling. As an animator… I was butthurt. I could see where they took shortcuts, and where they made embarrassing animation boo-boos (wrong characters doing dialogue). I feel like they had a very finite budget and they couldn’t waste too much time on the inbetweens to make it quality. Some of the writing was chuckle-worthy, but most are definitive Derp jokes (jokes you can see coming from space, see: any Rob Schneider movie). One character, Psycho, pretty much gives you a rundown on what is going to happen at the episode’s climax. I thought that was clever. Oh, and get used to hearing “hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength.” They try to say it at least twice an episode, if not more.

So my childhood may have been mislead, but if you want some nostalgia from a cartoon that just couldn’t make it or if you can’t find your Ninja Turtle collection, I would recommend this series…sort of.

Two donkeys of five.

Here is a guy who’s made some corrections in a process called Kitbashing. Basically, they take existing toys and recolor them/modify them to be more close to their cartoon counterparts.

This is a nice waste of your time. I was always annoyed about cartoons not being close to the toys, especially Slash in TMNT looking totally different in the cartoon and vastly superior as a toy, and vice versa in other cases.  This guy, however, rectifies these inconsistencies and does a damn good job at it.

This was not intended to denounce Bawls Energy Drinks.