Der Nerdery

This is a hypothetical battle between similar hero’s from rival comic book universes, Marvel and DC. I am putting Plastic Man and Mr. Fantastic head to head, to see who would be the theoretical winner in several different situations and scenarios. Who do you think would win in a one on one battle to the death? Who is more powerful? Which character do you like better? After the post please leave a comment with your own theory’s and scenarios. For the purposes of this story we will ignore that they are from different comic book companies.

First lets look over each characters overall abilities and powers.

Mr. Fantastic (Dr. Reed Richards):

Background:
Dr. Reed Richards (aka Mr. Fantastic) has mastered the sciences of electrical, mechanical and aerospace engineering, human and alien biology, chemistry and all levels of physics. He has invented time travel and even warped through dimensions. He is the leader of the super hero team known as The Fantastic Four. He once told Spider-Man that he considers his stretching powers to be expendable compared to his intellect.

Super Powers:
Mr. Fantastic was given his abilities while on a space expedition by being exposed to nearly lethal amounts of cosmic radiation. The radiation damaged the ship and returned home. Shortly after he found that he had the powers of elasticity. He could reform and stretch any part of his body at will. In one severe case he was able to increase his body size and mass, similar to the same size and strength of his team mate known as  ”Thing.” Changing into non human forms takes Mr. Fantastic much concentration.

Plastic Man (Patrick “Eel” O’Brian):

Background:
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian (aka Plastic Man) grew up as a orphan on the streets living in a world of crime. As an adult he made a living by working in a burglary ring as a safe cracker.

Super Powers:
During a job gone wrong, Eel O’Brian was shot and was splashed with some mysterious acid. Being abandoned by his gang he passes out in the streets from disorientation from the acid infecting his bullet wound. He later finds himself  in a monastery under the care of a monk. During his stay at the monastery he saw the error of his past criminal behavior and reformed against his old ways. Shortly after, he found that the acid had fused with his blood and gave his body all of the properties of rubber, allowing him to stretch, bounce, and mold himself into any shape, size and even change his mass. There is no known limit to Plastic Man’s shape changing abilities except he can not change color. His powers have even made him stop aging. Batman once said that Plastic Man could most likely survive the blast from a nuclear attack.

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic: Battle to the Death

Scenario 1 – Plastic Man turns back to his criminal ways
If Plastic Man were to lose his only son, Offspring, in a crime fighting accident. He begins to lose his mind and blames and despises the general public for being weak, selfish and always needing to be rescued. Thus, indirectly putting his family in constant danger. In his psychopathic rage he once again turns against the law and goes on an unforgivable psychopathic Godzilla like killing rampage through the streets of Gotham. Simultaneously… in another dimension, Mr. Fantastic just happened to make a scientific breakthrough and travels through dimensions landing himself in Gotham city in the shadows of the massive Plastic Man engaging in the destruction of Gotham city. Knowing that Plastic Man is indestructible by any known means (According to Wikipedia), would it still be possible for Mr. Fantastic to bring justice to this maniacal Plastic Man?

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic – Scenario 1 Hypothesis
Since Plastic Man is such a giant size, it will be impossible for Mr. Fantastic to defeat the plastic super foe with his super powers alone. Luckily for Mr. Fantastic his super powers are expendable compared to his intellect and is considered one of the most intelligent superhero’s ever created by any comic book company. Even though Wikipedia states that Plastic Man does not have any weaknesses and that he is completely invulnerable, Mr. Fantastic would certainly know that Wikipedia is not considered an accurate source of information He would also try to further his research by studying as much about his foe and this unfamiliar city. Surely, during his research he would eventually watch several episodes of “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” and realize that Kite Man had already invented a death ray which would destroy anything in its path, which he tested effectively on a sample of Plastic Man’s body. Using his superior intellect Mr. Fantastic would certainly recreate a similar death ray and end Plastic Man’s existance once and for all.

Scenario 2 – Mr. Fantastic receives brain damage and is convinced to join the forces of evil
One day while Mr. Fantastic was experimenting on cosmic radiation, trying to gain a deeper understanding of his power’s origins. When suddenly an accidental explosion sends Mr. Fantastic traveling through dimensions and lands him in Gotham city. Due to the combined effects of the explosion and cosmic radiation, Mr. Fantastic is completely disoriented and can’t remember anything about his past, where he came from or the origins of his powers. Spotting Mr. Fantastic and noticing the similarities to Plastic Man’s super powers, the local villains quickly convince the disoriented super hero that he is indeed one of the villains. With Mr. Fantastic now on their side the villains plan a big heist. During the heist Mr. Fantastic loses control of the situation and unforgivably kills several hostages. Plastic Man arrives on the scene and a epic battle of elasticity begins. Without his superior knowledge and intellect does Mr. Fantastic have a chance to win this battle to the death with Plastic Man?

Plastic Man vs. Mr. Fantastic – Scenario 2 Hypothesis
Since Mr. Fantastic’s super powers only allow him to stretch and reform his mass like elastic, he isn’t by any means invulnerable like Plastic Man is with his powers. Plastic Man truly has no limit to haw large he can get or how far he can stretch or what he can turn into. If he gets blown up into a million pieces he will easily reform into a single piece again. Without his intelligence Mr. Fantastic has no hope of ever defeating Plastic Man.  All that Plastic Man would need to do is slingshot with his arms from the doorway towards Mr. Fantastic and the moment before they collide…Plastic Man turns into a gigantic axe, effectively ending the life of Mr. Fantastic by decapitating his outstretched head.

Video’s and Pictures with Plastic Man and Mr. Fantastic:

Seiken Densetsu 3 (AKA: Secret of Mana 2)

I say Seiken Densetsu 3 is easily  the best SNES game to never be released in the United States.
Way back when I was knee high to a grasshopper. (Back in high school) Everyone in the school was given a school issued mac laptop to aid in our schooling and studies. Being the high school student that I was, I quickly discovered and installed some great cross platform computer games. Among those games there was a free super Nintendo emulator called SNES9x. During my search for some SNES roms I accidentally stumbled onto a game that I had never heard of before. It was called Seiken Densetsu 3. As soon as I started playing I instantly noticed similarities between it and my favorite childhood RPG, Secret of Mana. When my other friends noticed the game they too were intrigued and before I knew it, they were all hooked as well. I got REALLY close but unfortunately none of us actually beat the game completely. I recently re-downloaded the ROM in hopes to finally bring closure to that chapter of my life.

Seiken Densetsu 3 is the real Secret of Mana 2
Unless you lived in Japan around 1995, owned a Super Famicom, or downloaded the “unofficial” SNES rom; you most likely have never played this wonderful sequel to the original Secret of Mana game. If you are an American, like myself, you were probably led to believe that Secret of Evermore was the sequel to Secret of Mana. In truth, Secret of Evermore did have similar menus, game play and art styles as Secret of Mana but the stories were worlds apart. Unlike Secret of Mana, Secret of Evermore is the story of a modern boy and his dog traveling through multiple dimensions and trying to find their way home. Every time you progress to the next dimension all of your weapon’s and dog’s levels are reset. I got so upset I stopped playing after my levels were reset a couple of times. Seiken Densetsu 3 on the other hand takes place in an almost identical fantasy world as the original Secret of Mana. Almost all of the enemies and items are recycled from the original game. The menu’s are almost identical to the previous game but you will notice that there were some minor yet needed graphical updates.

Biggest Diffrences between Seiken Densetsu 3 and Secret of Mana

Secret of Mana:

1. 3 characters that you play all at once

2. 1 storyline

3. There are 8 weapons

4. Completely level each weapon to the max with each character. Each level you get on a weapon unlocks a newer more powerful move with that weapon.

Seiken Densetsu 3:

1. Choose only 3 out of 6 characters to play with at the start of the game. The first character you choose is the “Main Character.”

2. There are three main plots and 6 sub-plots. You get the story of the character you choose first when starting a new game.

3. Each character has his/her own specific weapon type that can not be exchanged for another type.

4. Level your character and choose a combination of light or dark powers to upgrade to new classes and get new skills and abilities.

Seiken Densetsu 3 Class Progression

Play Seiken Densetsu 3 In America NOW!

1. Download a SNES emulator for your computer: SNES9X for Mac or ZSNES for Windows

2. Download the English Translated Seiken Densetsu 3 SNES ROM

Main Characters of Seiken Densetsu 3:

Angela is the princess of the magical Ice Kingdom of Altena. Valda, Angela’s mother and the Queen of Reason, uses her magic to keep the area in constant spring. As the worlds mana begins to fade, so does the Queen’s magic. In an effort to save the kingdom from freezing over when her magic fades, the Queen with her assistant wizard Koren decide to invade the other nations to claim their mana stones to use their magical powers. Before the invasion, Valda and Koren try to unleash the power of their own mana stone of water. Unfortunately in order to do this someone must cast a cursed spell that means certain death to anyone casting it. Valda tries to force Angela to sacrifice herself to unleash the power within the mana stone of water, Angela’s rage causes her hidden magical powers to suddenly burst out uncontrollably, teleporting the girl outside of the castle walls. With nowhere else to turn Angela ventures on a quest to stop her evil queen mother from unlocking the powers of mana.

Duran, an orphaned mercenary swordsman of the Grasslands Kingdom of Forcena who proudly serves his king, the wise Richard. His aunt Stella took care of him and his younger sister Wendy after their mother died from a long term sickness. Their father Loki went missing during a battle with the Dragon Emperor. While Duran is on guard duty at the castle one night, the wizard Koren attacks the castle of Forcena. Koren leaves Duran for dead after the attack. After his recovery Duran vows to become the best swordsman in the world and to take revenge on Koren to avenge the deaths of his people and to recover his lost pride.

Hawk is a member of a guild of noble thieves located in the Sand Fortress of the desert Navarre. Out of nowhere the guild leader, Lord Flamekhan, oddly declares Nevarre to be a Kingdom. Hawk and his friends, Jessica and Eagle, (Lord Flamekhan’s children) are shocked by this. Jessica, Eagle and Hawk decide to confront Lord Flamekhan about the decision. Once they locate Lord Flamekhan, they find him in a meeting with his assistant, the witch Isabella, who turns out to be pulling their leaders strings. Isabella casts a spell on Eagle and makes him attack Hawk. In self defense Hawk is forced to injure Eagle. Unfortunately the fight isn’t quite over and Isabella finishes off Eagle with a spell and frames Hawk for murder. While waiting in prison to be executed, Isabella informs Hawk that she has given his friend Jessica a cursed necklace. If Hawk tells anyone what really happened that day, Jessica will be choked to death by the cursed necklace. Hawk escapes his imprisonment shortly after and his adventure begins.

Lise is Amazon princess of the mountainous Wind Kingdom of Rolante, and captain of its Amazon army. Lise has vowed to take care of her younger brother Elliott, after her mother died while giving birth to him. One day, two former friends of Hawk, Bill and Ben, sneak into the castle of Rolante and trick youthful Elliott into turning off Rolante’s defensive winds and abduct him. With the winds gone, Navarre then attacks Rolante with a cloud of sleep powder and they kill the king. Lise is devastated. She makes her escape and begins her quest to save her brother.

Kevin is the half-beastman prince of Ferolia who, due to a lack of proper schooling, has a difficult time speaking with proper grammer. He is the son of the beastmen king, Gauser, and of a human mother. Gauser has become sick of the treatment of the beast people by human race. He decides to act revenge with the help of the mysterious “Man who devours death”, who happend to conveniently appear to aide the king with his evil dark magic. He decides to demonstrate his powers by creating an illusion, where Kevin’s beloved childhood friend, a wolf-pup orphan named Karl, rises up and attacks him out in the Moonlight Forest. Kevin makes every effort to defend himself but seems to loose the fight,  on the verge of dying, his werewolf abilities awake! Only a brief moment there after, Karl’s life is taken from him. After discovering that his father is sending an invasion force to overthrow the Holy City Wendel. Kevin then overhears the Beast King discuss the success of the Death jesters spell. Kevin confronts the Beast King and is kicked out of the castle. He disowns the Beast King as his father, sets out to locate his mother, while finding some way to revive his friend Karl and swears to take revenge for his best friend’s death.

Carlie is a cute little girl from the Holy City Wendel. She is the granddaughter of the city’s Priest of Light. Carlie  is cared for by a friendly cleric named Heath since she was orphaned by her parents. The cleric Leroy and the elf Shayla, felt an evil influence in the nearby city, Jadd. The Priest of Light sends Heath to investigate. Unfortunately during his investigation, Carlie ovehears this conversation and makes an escape only to find the Deathjester kidnap her caregiver Heath. This is when she decides to take matters into her own hands.

During Labor Day weekend my wife and I decided to visit a few friends who live in Colorado Springs. The plan was simple…drive into the mountain town of Manitou Springs eat some pizza and visit their world famous penny arcade for a day to remember. One of the most notable differences between this arcade and a normal arcade is that it is spread out among many small buildings and there are even quite a few games outdoors on the sidewalk. Even though it is a “penny” arcade most of the games take quarters, but one of the buildings in particular housed many OLD arcade games that took dimes, nickels and sometimes even penny’s. Most of these old arcade games didn’t even have a screen. Instead of a screen there would be a viewing window for you to see actual objects and moving parts that you are interact with while playing the game.

Manitou Springs Parking
If you park just outside of Manitou Springs you can find free parking near the public pool. But then you will need to walk 15 minutes to get the rest of the way into the city. To get to the parking lot from Colorado Springs you need to take Cimarron Street US-24 going west until you reach the exit for Manitou Ave US-24 going West. After taking the exit, enter the parking lot on the right side of the street just past Garden of The Gods Pl. Once parked you still need to walk another fifteen minutes to a half hour, depending on how fast you like to walk.

Marilyn’s Pizza House‎ of Manitou Springs
Once we all reached the inner part of the city we were all pretty starved and made Pizza our first quest. Since my wife and I had been to Manitou Springs previously on our honeymoon. We knew just the place to treat our friends, Marilyns. Marilyns is a Marilyn Monroe themed pizza house which is about a block or two past the famous penny arcade. This place has great pizza and phenomenal soft serve ice cream that has flavors swirled in. But these swirls aren’t the traditional 50/50 mix of vanilla and chocolate. Instead, their ice cream machine injects colorful flavored syrup of many different flavors into the ice cream as it dispenses it. Since the machine has a bunch of tubes delivering the syrup to the machine it almost looks like a expensive ink jet printer appearing to have a bunch of colored ink hoses feeding into it.Their pizza’s taste amazing but unfortunately their pizzas don’t come in larger sizes. They only serve individual sized pizzas, so feel free to share one if you are on a diet or simply eat like my grandmother. On the down side they only accept cash and I wouldn’t consider them cheap. On the other hand I wouldn’t consider them expensive either.

The World Famous Penny Arcade
Once you walk up to the arcade section of the town you quickly realize that this is the most popular and happenin’ part of this mountain town. The arcade is a couple blocks of buildings housing many many classic arcade games and between the buildings there are even more games.The first arcade building we walked into was the ski-ball and prizes. While browsing the selection of prizes the most noticeable difference between them and a normal arcade is the quality of prizes. Most arcades actually have some prizes that you might want. Here…at this penny arcade…was the worst selection of toys and prizes I have ever seen. All of the prizes looked as if they came from the Oriental Trading Company and made from CHEAP plastic, and you would get better junk from your local dollar store. At that moment I decided not to waste my money on any of the ticket prize games and just focus on the classics, which were the bulk of their games anyway.

The next arcade building I visited is what I consider the main building. It is probably the biggest of the arcade areas. The main penny arcade sign hangs outside of this building and points to the front door. The sign reads, “Penny Arcade. World Famous!” The moment I walked into the room I noticed that this area of the penny arcade is by far the most popular. I think this was the most popular because this is were all of the penny, nickel and dime machines are located.These cheap machines were all antique arcade games. There were even games in this place that I never knew existed, most of which I would expect to see at a old fairground or carnival. Besides the large quantity of pinball machines, this room also had fortune telling machines, career advice machines, rifle games where you shoot at targets in a scene behind the glass, a antique football game which looked like a more mechanical version of foosball, and even peeping tom arcade machines where you put in a dime and you get to watch a adults only 3d picture show. Several of the games in this room that I personally enjoyed playing was a aircraft game where you shoot at targets on the ground and a submarine game where you shoot torpedo’s at ships. What was really cool about these games in particular was that they did not have a tv screen but instead used a conveyor belt with targets attached to it. The targets looked like battleship game pieces painted to glow under a black light. Of the two the submarine game was the best since you actually look through a periscope to aim and shoot. The tricky part of this game is that you actually have to lead your torpedo’s way in front of the target ships so that the target will actually move into your torpedo’s path. The game was only a dime each play and worth a full quarter.

After having my fun in the indoor areas of the penny arcade I decided to hit the arcade games outside on the sidewalks. While browsing this selection I was again surprised at what I found… There was actually a SNES machine that was created for arcades. The controllers were attached to the machine and unmovable but they were the actual SNES games. I never knew that anything like this even existed. There was also a pinball machine that greatly impressed me. I forget what the name of this pinball game was but it was quite advanced compared to the others. (I think it was Revenge from Mars or something like that.) The game was cool because it had a monitor installed in the machine above and facing downward toward the glass and anything playing on the monitor (mostly aliens) would reflect and be visible on the glass. This actually gave the appearance that the martians were standing inside the machine behind the glass. When your ball hits one of the martians, the martian would actually explode into a pile of goo. The hit detection and animation on this pinball game was absolutely phenomenal. While continuing to wander I also played classic games such as Mrs. PacMan, Q*Bert, Rampage, Turtles in Time and several others.

Before we left I finally broke down and played a couple of the ticket prize games. Our group of arcade goers all put our tickets together and gave them to several random kids who were extremely grateful to have the tickets, in order to acquire their very own cheap plastic crap.

By the time we left the arcade I played all of the games I wanted and still spent less than $10 total. AWESOME! I can’t say that about any other arcade I have been to. Yes, the games were old and the prizes were crappy but to be honest…If this place was any better than what it was, I probably would have been disappointed.

Please leave a comment and let me know what games would you have played if you were there. They had almost EVERYTHING!

Orb 3D is easily one of the best pong/puzzle remakes ever made. I really sucked at it when I was a kid but I still love it.

Nerd Rating: 9/10
# of players: 1P
Genre: Retro Puzzle/Skill Game
Game System: NES (Nintendo Entertainment System)

The story behind the game:
You are a Explorer First Class and on a mission to defeat the  evil space wizard, Krohn. Your ship, which is known as the Millennium Orb, is the only space craft strong enough to withstand the energy forces of Krohn’s ever-growing black hole. You must keep the Millennium Orb in position by moving Force Shields on the outer edges of each chamber in Krohn’s domain. The fate of the entire Universe is in your hands!

My Nerdpinion:
One of the most surprising things about this game is that it used  ”3-D” glasses (one lens was clear and the other was tinted) that actually come with the game. The 3D effect is produced by the constantly-moving player ship. The ships movement hides the dual image used for the 3D effect.

ORB-3D is a intergalactic approach to classic game of pong. The game is played by keeping your spaceship (the Millennium Orb) from leaving the screen by bouncing the ship back and forth between your paddles on the left and right of the screen. Like classic pong your paddles only move up and down on the left and right sides of the screen.

Where ORB-3D differs from pong is in the way the Millennium Orb travels in the background behind all of the targets when it is moving left across the screen. Then on the orb’s trip back to the right side of the screen, it travels in the foreground in front of all of the targets. As your ball passes behind or in front of a target click your “A” button to reverse directions and transition from the foreground to the background or vice versa. If your timing on the button was accurate you will activate your target when your orb ship passes through the middle space.

While keeping the Millennium Orb on screen you need to pay close attention to your fuel and try and hit the targets in a specific order. Each target you hit earns you more fuel. As time passes your fuel meter will slowly drop. If you miss your orb with your paddle you will lose quite a bit of fuel. If your fuel gets too low you can go to Vern’s space station for a chance to try and fuel up. You get a limited number of credits to go to Vern’s so only go when you absolutely have to. Once at Vern’s you have a short period of time to navigate the Millennium Orb through small holes in the space station. Each hole you travel through gives you additional fuel, then the hole will close behind you. If you don’t make it through any of the holes fast enough they will begin to close one by one before they all shut. Every once in a while you will encounter what I think is Vern himself, Which is a floating pink monster head with horns. In order to get out of this “Vern’s” level you have to poke out his eyes.

There are 30 levels in the game and each is a completely different puzzle. Once you get into the game a few levels it starts to get REALLY hard. After a while you will begin to encounter moving targets and targets that have to be hit multiple times before they disappear. An example of the multi-hit targets is a level that starts out with a bunch of caterpillars on the screen. Hit a caterpillar with your ship and it will morph into a cocoon. Hit a cocoon and it then turns into a butterfly and disappears shortly after. One of the harder moving targets is the cheshire cat level. In this level the cheshire cat is constantly disappearing and reappearing elsewhere. Since it is rarely is the same place twice it is really hard to aim and hit your target before it changes places again.

What would have made it better?
If the game had a 2P mode where you both play at the same time on the same puzzle. Both players could simply race to hit the most targets. It would be really cool if there was some sort of devastating effect if your ships collide, like both ships shoot off in random directions. It would be really cool if I could get my hands on some old school 3D glasses.

I highly recommend Orb-3D to anyone that likes simple games like Pong and Tetris. Even though the game was created in the 80’s this game has held up well over the years and STILL tons of fun to play.

This guy kinda sucks…and doesn’t make it look as fun as it really is. Anyway… here is someone dying within 2m43s on the first level.

Retard Strength Energy Drink

Nerd Rating: 11/10
(10 for being freaking awesome. +1 extra credit for originality and going where no one has dared to go before.)

What!? Really?!? Is Retard Strength actually a real energy drink?

Yes, you read that right and yes, retard strength is a real energy drink. How do I know? Because I am one of the few remaining people in the world who actually owns a can of this rare gem of a energy drink. We at Der Nerdery have seen and tried tons and tons of energy drinks, all of which have their own niche,  but what about the special people? Are they not “special” enough to have their own energy drink? Of course they are! In fact, the can actually claims that retard strength is the world’s only “special” energy drink.

I first discovered retard strength when I was on a mission to find out how to go about making my own energy drink dedicated to nerds. I will go into more detail on my nerd energy drink idea in a later post. Anyways, while doing energy drink research I stumbled upon TardHard.com. (The website no longer exists) I was shocked with mixed feelings about what I had found. The one thing that is embedded in my head from this website is the “special” sounds the buttons made when you rolled over them. Each button had its own noise associated with it. Each sound was obviously made by special guys voice. I know that I am probably going to hell for this but those roll over button sounds had me ROFL like never before.

While continuing my energy drink research I found several blank label energy drink companies that would actually sell you a pre-formulated energy drink. You just send them the label artwork and they will create the bar code and print your custom labels on the can. One of these companies in particular had free samples of their energy drink. You just pay for the shipping. So I called up the company and spoke to the owner about my nerd energy drink idea. He then told me about some of his other strange projects that he had helped develop. To my surprise one of these drinks he produced was Retard Strength, which I had found merely hours before. While speaking to the energy drink guy he explained that the energy drink was actually funded by the parents of the special guy on the can. Apparently the energy drink was the brain child of the special guy himself and it turns out that he has a sense of humor about his condition.

So I paid the shipping costs to the blank label energy drink business owner to ship the free energy drink samples to my home. When I received the box of samples, to my surprise it actually contained a single Retard Strength energy drink. This was the only drink from the box that I kept and still own. All of the other drinks had different examples of labels but they were all the same taste and formula.

Taste:
When I spoke to the energy drink creator he told me that the drink tastes almost like a Red Bull only “cleaner” tasting. Once I tasted it, I totally agree with his statement. So with that description being true Retard Strength tastes more closely to a Rock Star than a Red Bull.

The last time I checked the Retard Strength Website it said coming soon. But I havent seen any changes for a very long time.